Deflated

All week I had been rocking it out in class and posture clinic. Then last night [friday], I crashed! Just after the first Triangle, I started feeling dizzy and weak and so sad. I had to sit down. And I could not get enough water in me! I got up for Standing Separate Leg, then down for Tree. At one point, Bikram said "Why you not doing posture? I thought you were yogini!" He was looking in my direction, but I couldn't tell if that was directed at me or someone around me.

Then in posture clinic, we were presenting Standing Bow Pulling pose. I did not feel great, and I did not feel good about getting up to say it, but I did anyway - I didn't want the posture hanging around in my brain all weekend! It came out choppy, I blanked out in parts, forgot 1/2 of it, and actually started talking to myself. In hindsight today, it's funny, but last night it wasn't. My homework was to get out of my brain, and start looking at the bodies for guidance.

I know this is all part of the process - releasing your baggage. We hear over and over and OVER again to "Trust. The. Process.", and I believe it. I am grateful to all the teachers in the Edmonton studio's who have prepared us so well for this training, and who are with us in spirit cheering us on.

Funny [or not so funny] story...
In posture clinic, sometimes the teachers will make you do things to get you out of your shell. Last night, one girl [a hairstylist in her other life] from the other group presented, and the teacher thought it needed a bit of pizzazz so she told this girl to try doing the dialogue as if she was a gay hairdresser! Little did she know that we have a gay hairdresser in our group!! Ouch!